Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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