im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
