with your own penis?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
