sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
