umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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