So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
