Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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