You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
