I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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