hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
