Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
