Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
