Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

how do you spell 'special'? like slow?

(210): View more from Texas

S P E L L C H E C K

(808): View more from Hawaii

No you dumbass thats not right

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

21st birthday = success

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(904): View more from Florida

I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.

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