I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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