No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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