Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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