are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
