we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
