ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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