It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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