speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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