I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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