what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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