Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sober January is a disaster.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
