therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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