is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
