the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
