not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
