I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
