Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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