I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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