I want to walk on stilts...naked
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
