Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
