Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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