last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
