Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
