Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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