Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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