in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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