Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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