Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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