Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
