i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love having hate sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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