you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
