Don't you send me to vm
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
