I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
