the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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