I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
