Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
