Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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