Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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