Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wanna go halves on a baby?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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