I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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