moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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