I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize