your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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