Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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