I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
